One desk toy will become a chew toy.
Last year you elected Zen Frog to the desk, but it’s only so big. So now, one desk toy has to go. Help us determine who it will be—you could even win your favorite in the process. How does it work?
Choose your favorite desk toy.
Choose a game to play.
There are three different games and you can play up to three times a day.
The points you earn will be awarded to the toy you selected.
Check back often.
If you play for the toy that ultimately finishes with the most points, you’ll be entered to win that toy for your own desk.
The toy with the fewest cumulative points will be banished from the desk.
Between you, me and the water cooler, I think Googly Eyes should be kicked off the desk. The guy's always looking at me. Freaks me out, man. Freaks me right out. I can make this even simpler, however: Play for me or the keyboard gets it.
Kicking me off the desk would be like kicking technology out of your life in favor of what? A dinosaur who can't even use a smart phone? Play for me because I'm a robot and, last I computed, you IT pros tend to love you some robots. AmIRight?!
Have I already been voted off the desk or do we have to go through with the painful charade of playing arcade games before it officially happens? Playing for me is the validation I need that making it through the whole extinction thing was worth it.
If I get kicked off, this desk will turn into one big man cave and, frankly, those don't exactly smell great. I suppose the robot isn't technically a man, but that's beside the point. Play for me because you believe in girl power. Or, at least, ukulele power.
You'll forgive me if planning world domination doesn't afford me the luxury of worrying about whether or not you vote for me as your favorite. Before you decide who to play for, however, I will say this (and then I must get back to my scheming): A world without Devil Duck is a world without order.
Pretend that playing for me is a brand new car. Now, what do I have to do to get you into that car today, handsome? Or is it lovely? I can't see through the screen, please forgive me. What's clear is that you are a smart, attractive person. Go ahead and vote for me, superstar. Drive that beautiful new car.
Listen, I'm not the fastest of the bunch I'll admit that. I'm probably the slowest. Mentally, physically, emotionally. That said, I can eat your brain if you don't play for me. So, you know, there's that.
Listen, we can pretend that I might finish last, sure. We can also pretend that LeBron would be picked last in gym class, that The Boss wouldn't be welcome in New Jersey or that water could be voted out of the ocean. Yep. Those are all very plausible things right there. Play for me because—in case you missed it—I'm bacon.
The thought of getting kicked off is too much to bear. I mean, that's some heavy emotional weight. Not too heavy, mind you. Nothing is too heavy for me. I could bench press that heavy emotional weight about six...teen...hund-thousand times. For the love of protein shakes please vote for me.
Look, I'm going to be honest with you: I have terrible vision. I know, I know, seems crazy with the whole four-telescoping-eyes thing, but it's true. Do you have any idea what it's like to be bad at the one thing people assume you're great at? Boy, if you played for me it'd sure help me feel better. Just saying.